It’s the punchline to a bad joke.
In the climactic scene of 2019’s “The Joker”, Arthur Fleck yells, “You get what you f***ing deserve!” before shooting talk show host Murray Franklin. It’s fitting to remember that line now, because yesterday, April 8th, 2020, was the day Joseph R. Biden, Jr. ended up as the last man standing.
The fractured, flailing party got exactly what is deserves: a shell of a man, a candidate whose brain is a vessel adrift in his own body.
The DNC’s candidate lineup was a belabored joke, a shaggy dog story that droned on for eleven torturous months. The cast: a “spiritual leader,” three mayors, a fake Native American, two billionaires, several race hustlers, a millionaire socialist, and a man who would come to known for his prodigious flatulence.
(Yes, in case you forgot, Eric Swalwell ran for president. Somehow, his campaign ran out of gas in a matter of weeks, on July 8th).
Nearly as much money was spent in these Democratic primaries than was spent during the entire campaigns of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump combined in 2016.
Naturally, the punchline to this painfully long, bad joke is a mere two words: “Joe Biden.”
Biden is famous for a litany of policy failures and poor judgment calls as a legislator, not to mention as a parent. He pushed hard for the Iraq War, authored the brutal crime bill of 1994, and made questionable deals in Ukraine and China with his son Hunter that appear to involve money laundering in Latvia and Cyprus.
His physical health is a serious issue. Biden, 77, has suffered two aneurysms. But it is his forgetfulness, paired with flashes of anger, that cause many to speculate that he is not sound of body or mind. The internet is rife with minutes-long compilations of his creepy behavior. Still other compilations are devoted solely to his mental lapses. Like the ad says, everybody knows that.
The most disturbing material, however, is not what the Twitterati and meme-makers splice together, but material produced by the Biden 2020 campaign. Have a listen to the video below. This is the best they can do.
It’s not the first example, or even the second, of the campaign itself proffering spoiled goods. Wandering out of the camera frame and gesturing to offscreen crew is apparently the best his team can manage to wring out of their tired old charge.
Now it’s his snack habits.
Biden’s supporters lack any zeal or conviction. His rallies drew tiny crowds back when crowds were a thing. Now, in the age of the coronavirus, with desperate supporters seeking another perspective on the pandemic, Biden’s podcast, “Here’s the Deal With Joe Biden,” has fallen to 125th place on the charts.
There it is, right behind “A Bedtime Show For Kids of All Ages.”
Democrats will be voting in large part for Biden’s running mate, more so than perhaps any time in American history. The vetting game is complicated by Biden’s lurch to the left. The other name on the ticket must be able to accept Joe’s centrist past while swallowing several greenpills: no fracking,
The calculus of the VP decision reflects perfectly the fractious nature of the modern Democratic Party. It’s not about the person, it’s about their genitalia and color of their skin.
Biden already committed to choosing a woman, so 50% of the field has been deemed unworthy. Several of the potential VPs have not served on the national level, such as Stacey Abrams, who once served in the House of Representatives…of the state of Georgia.
It’s complicated when appearance beats experience, and what’s between your legs is more of a factor than what’s between your ears. Vital questions go unanswered. Do the two candidates like each other? Would they work well together in a time of crisis?
As reported by the industry leader in the field of identity politics, the New York Times claims that if Biden chooses a Latina, he will anger the black Democrat base. If he chooses a black woman, he could suffer in the Western U.S., and a white woman would upset both minority groups.
In fact, it reminds me of a joke. I call it “The Democrats.”
A black lesbian, a genderfluid Latinx, a trans male, a gay environmentalist, an Antifa bro, a pedophile, a preppy Boomer couple, and a Satanist walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, only to slowly discover they have little in common. When it comes time to pay the tab, they argue and fight over who owes what, and for what sociological, historical, and intersectional reasons. Everyone goes their separate angry ways.
The next day is the presidential primary. Only a few of them bother to vote. In the din of the public school gymnasium, crouched in their voting blinds, they’re forced to choose. And they all select the same candidate.
The punchline? Yep, you guessed it: Joe Biden.
I didn’t say it was funny.
In fact, it’s downright sad.