• Obama Fails To Produce Rabbit From Hat, Forced To Endorse Biden

    April 14, 2020
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    Until now, Barack Obama has resisted calls to endorse Joe Biden. He even put up a candidate of his own for a brief, delusional moment in November of 2019 (remember Deval Patrick?). Obama addressed the nation via Twitter today in a 12-minute video.

    The move signals the end of the road for Democrat fantasies. The de facto head of the party has spoken: Biden is the pick, warts and all. No surprises, at least not for the top of the ticket. The idea that an inspirational new candidate would magically materialize to take on President Trump has officially expired.

    "Joe gets stuff done," Obama claimed in his video tweet, shot in one of his homes. "I know he'll surround himself with good people," he said, presumably to assuage voter fears that Biden is mentally unsound. He made sure to kiss up to Bernie Sanders supporters, calling their twice-failed hero "an American original." Of the need to unite Americans, Obama said, "Bernie understands that, and Joe understands that."

    The remarks took a turn for the worse when Obama falsely claimed, "Republicans...denied the science of pandemics," then went on to call for national unity. Disregarding the left's cozy relationship with mass media, Obama said, "The other side has a propaganda network with little regard for the truth." He concluded by begging for votes: "We need Americans of good will to unite."

    The elevator pitch version: Biden will have a strong cabinet, don't worry about his mental health. Trump will ruin the environment, and he's not a nice guy. Berniebros, this is about beating Trump, so get on board.

    The Dems are stuck with Biden and his laundry list of policy decisions and gaffes:

    • Chronic fondling of young girls and other men's wives
    • Pushing for war with Iraq
    • Authoring the 1994 crime bill (superpredators)
    • Fraternizing with segregationists
    • Opposed busing
    • Deals with China and Ukraine while VPOTUS
    • Admitting to bribing Ukraine
    • Stripping bankruptcy protection from Americans through credit card bill
    • Two aneurysms, age 77
    • Lies about meeting Mandela, pinning Silver Star on Naval officer
    • Evidence of cognitive decline
    • Referred to Jesse Jackson as "boy," called Obama "clean" and "articulate"
    • Opposed China travel ban as racist
    • Supported NAFTA, TPP, and the Patriot Act
    • Needlessly harangued Anita Hill in the Clarence Thomas SCOTUS hearings
    • Allegedly raped staffer Tara Reade, seven other women have also filed sexual complaints

    Now for the VP pick. Expect a decision within the next two weeks. If it's Hillary--who said "never say never" in February--it will be the first time a vice presidential candidate will be chosen while appealing a federal court decision requiring her to appear in court. It likely won't be Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, given her power-hungry mistakes in dealing with the coronavirus. Perhaps Kamala "I was that little girl" Harris will forgive Joe for busing support.

    Other potential candidates are largely unknown to the American public. It's a luxury they have that Biden does not. When it comes to the Democratic candidate for 2020, we know far, far too much.


    Court Anderson

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