CD Media
Politics

On Tour Now: Joe Bitin’ And The Delaware Lap Jumpers!

Joe Biden. Screencap: YouTube

CD Media has long taken a dim view of Joe Biden. Since he announced his candidacy for the Democratic nomination (for the third time in thirty years), we have devoted 24 articles to Biden’s life, legacy, and sins great and small. Some pieces have sought to understand his demons, others have lampooned his many foibles, still others have exposed his many crimes. But none of them have made an outright call for his withdrawal on grounds of physical unfitness until today.

Dear reader, by now you surely know about Biden biting his second wife’s finger as she spoke at a campaign stop in Iowa yesterday. And unless you’ve been enjoying a media-free Thanksgiving, you’re well aware of a new portion of Biden’s incoherent, stuttering speech from September that recently resurfaced. It’s truly a dog’s breakfast: Biden speaks of black children wetting his blond legs with pool water, roaches (presumably cockroaches, not the butts of a marijuana joints, but who knows), and the joys of children jumping on his lap.

This is a must-watch.

These are not “gaffes,” the small but mostly harmless slips of the tongue that have become Biden’s calling card over his decades of public life. These are the unmistakable signs of dementia. One version of the “roach speech” zooms in on Biden’s hands as he speaks. The motion, similar to rubbing a rabbit’s foot, is quick, repetitive, and apparently uncontrolled.

In the midst of the bad optics, Biden revealed his campaign slogan, and apparently he consulted with Colonel Potter from M*A*S*H: it’s “NO MALARKEY!” Jumpin’ jahosephat, pig feathers and horse hockey! That’s actually the slogan.

Not a deepfake. Screencap: YouTube

Biden has topped the last five national polls of Democratic candidates by an average of 9.4 points. Unless the various pollsters are colluding to inflate his numbers, he’s still their unambiguous candidate of choice. This is the Democratic Party, warts and all: a cranky grandpa, lost in the stories of his youth, wishing away his crimes and those of his children, rubbing in vain at the stain on his legacy.

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