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    Words and Phrases We Must Eliminate

    January 8, 2021
    Words and Phrases We Must Eliminate
    Image by DonkeyHotey

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    Last week, Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats proposed new rules for restricting language including banning the use of “gendered terms” and substituting “more inclusive” words. Among the banned words are “he,” “she,” “father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, first cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, stepbrother, stepsister, half brother, half sister, grandson, [and] granddaughter.” It’s not understandable to me why terms that more specifically reference a person and that person’s familial relationship should be banned, why this should matter when our country is struggling with so many serious internal crises, and how this does not violate the First Amendment.

    In yet another act of gender-neutral idiocy, Democrat Congressman Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) concluded the daily congressional prayer with the words "amen and awoman.” The word “amen” originates from Hebrew, a congregation’s approval of a solemn prayer, and has no relationship to gender except that the letters “men” appear in the word. Of course, the word “awoman” is totally made up and has no meaning whatsoever.

    The University of Michigan's IT department also recently put out a list terms that are offensive and must be avoided so as not to offend people. This isn’t completely unexpected in today’s progressive world, but this list is strange even by today’s warped standards. For example, according to the list, the word “picnic” should be replaced by “gathering.” The explanation seems to be that there is a rumor on social media that the word has its origins in the lynching of African Americans. This isn’t true; its actual meaning derives from the 17th-century French word "pique-nique," which was used to described social gatherings in which attendees brought food. However, people could still have heard the false origin and take offense, and so anything that might cause offense in any person, even a stupid one who is badly misinformed, needs to be avoided.

    Another term on the list, “brown bag,” should be replaced by “lunch and learn.” No one is really sure about this one, but “brown” could refer to someone’s skin color and thus make someone uncomfortable. For example, this phrase might invoke the image of a racist who hates brown-skinned people and the term “bag” could refer to the bag placed over a person’s head before a hanging. I’m just guessing, but you can see how this could be triggering to a really stupid, misinformed person who is looking for reasons to be upset.

    In reality, those who are offended by terminology will certainly find other words and phrases at which to be offended because they are actually utilizing language restrictions to advance and enforce their own power by restricting others. This language war is succeeding, as government, businesses, and academia now ostracize and excommunicate those who “misuse language.” The Founding Fathers understood this problem well and created protections against it in the very first amendment to the Constitution. However, many Americans have now forgotten or have capitulated to this power play and, in doing so, allowed others to gain power over them.

    So in the interest of satire, I’ve decided to start my own list of grievous terminology that must be banned from our language. There are many words that can be triggering to people who have a lot of time and little sense. My list is below. I suggest we all keep adding to the list until every word in the English language needs to be banned. Then we can simply grunt and growl at each, while we make sure that our fires are lit, we have time to scrounge for our roots and berries, and our caves are clean and welcoming places to all people, regardless of gender, race, or species.

    Word or PhraseReasonReplacement
    picnicMistakenly thought to be derived from lynchings.gathering
    gatheringCould be a gathering for a lynching.peaceful non-lynching get-together definitely not for lynching anyone
    riotRacist.mostly peaceful protest
    brown bagWho knows, but obviously some people are upset by it.lunch and learn
    lunchMany minorities cannot afford lunch. Also, many cultures have dinner but not lunch, so this is culture-centric.meal
    learnReminds us about the disenfranchising policies of our education system toward minorities.think
    colored peopleRacist.Afro Americans
    Afro AmericansWrong.blacks
    blacksWrong.African Americans
    African AmericansWrong. Excludes people not from Africa.people of color
    people of colorToo generic.blacks
    Orient, Oriental, orienteeringRacist.Asia, Asian, spelunking
    Mexican AmericanWrong. Excludes people not from Mexico.Latin American
    Latin AmericanWrong. Excludes people not from Latin America. Also implies they speak Latin, a language spoken by dead white people.Hispanic
    HispanicRacist. Assumes the culture of Spain, a conquering European/white country.Latino, Latina
    Latino, LatinaSexist.Latinx
    WASP, wop, dago, mick, hori, kike, polack, redneck, cracker, honkyNo problem. Kind of funny.
    niggardlyFor obvious reasons.miserly, Shylock, Jew, Scotch
    in the blackOffensive to blacks.profitable
    profitableOffensive to minorities who are systematically excluded from owning or running businesses.got Benjamins
    in the redOffensive to Native Americans.losing money
    republic, RepublicanBrings to mind a modern-day, evil political party.Nazi
    triggerPart of a gun that kills people.pistil (part of a flower)
    pistilSounds like pistol, which is a gun that kills people.petal (different part of a flower)
    literallyMostly because it is used literally way too much and usually incorrectly. Especially by Kelly Clarkson. And it bugs the heck out of me. Literally.very
    every life mattersSounds like some lives don’t matter to some people even though it states just the opposite.Black Lives Matter
    pro-lifeMakes some people feel guilty for killing their unborn child.anti-choice
    Jesus ChristAn all-powerful, judgmental mythical figure.Santa Claus
    GaiaAn all-powerful, judgmental mythical figure. No problem.
    capitalismSystem that has raised more people of all backgrounds out of poverty than any other in history but is still oppressive and racist.socialism
    maleSexist. We shouldn’t assume that someone with facial hair, likes power tools, and has an appendage between his legs is male.person
    femaleSexist. We shouldn’t assume that someone with breasts, likes shopping, or pees sitting down is female.person
    sexually confusedSexist.LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ+
    slut, promiscuousJudgmental (even Microsoft Word flags the word “slut” with “this language may be offensive to your reader”).pansexual
    he, she, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, first cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, stepbrother, stepsister, half-brother, half-sister, grandson, granddaughterSexist.person
    awomanSexist. And nonsense.aperson
    managerSexist.boss, jerk
    managementSexist.lots of jerks
    mantaSexist.flappy fish-type thingy
    menstruationSexist.period, time of month, on the rag, code red, monthly curse, monthly friend, Aunt Flo is visiting
    womanSexist.superior being
    normalMeaningless because everyone is normal.everyone
    abnormalMeaningless because no one is abnormal.no one
    invalidDerogatory because no one is invalid.handicapped
    handicappedDerogatory because one person’s handicap is another’s advantage. Like not having limbs or eyesight.disabled
    disabledNo one is disabled, everyone has different abilities, like the ability to not hear sounds, which can actually be quite relaxing.differently abled
    snowflakeUsed derogatorily to describe woke, superior people and it makes them really, really upset.better than you
    imbecileDerogatory.different thinking
    moronDerogatory.different thinking
    stupidDerogatory.different thinking
    dumbInsulting to those who cannot speak.different thinking
    mentally retardedImplies that they cannot think as well as others.different thinking
    retardedInsulting.different thinking
    idiotTriggering to the idiots who need protection from trigger words and phrases.socially responsible, woke, anti-racist person who is much better than you are


    Bob Zeidman

    Bob Zeidman studied physics and electrical engineering at Cornell and Stanford, and filmmaking at De Anza College. He is the inventor of the famous Silicon Valley Napkin and the founder of several successful high-tech Silicon Valley firms including Zeidman Consulting and Software Analysis and Forensic Engineering. He holds numerous patents and is the creator of the computer science field of software forensics. Bob’s secret life includes writing three award-winning novels and three award-winning screenplays. He earned an Opus Magnum Discovery Award from the Hollywood Film Festival for his novel Horror Flick, where he got to walk the red carpet with Hollywood celebrities. His latest novel is the political satire Good Intentions, a perfect read before voting in the upcoming election.
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    Chuck Fuoco

    Word/phrase Reason Replacement

    Loved it Too gay Funny as shit
    and true

    Too gay One could not a fag
    never be
    too gay

    fag Too gay faggot

    faggot Reminds person
    persons of
    sticks, which
    could have been
    used at lynchings

    One Absolute, two!

    Two Could three!!
    suggest a

    Three Possible ELEVEN!!

    eleven is ok Oh, thank God

    (uh, oh)

    Loved it,


    Words we must eliminate:
    Wait... how much server space do you have? This is going to go on for a while...


    Must delete word "black" and "white". This will require total revision of the color pallet and rewriting on most books on painting and music, but the clown corps seems to have lots of time on its hands. We will also have to change all references to that time after daylight. Any references to "dark" could be misconstrued. This will require destruction of millions of books, after first reviewing them . Pianos have diffirent coored keys. Again, a need for revision and major reconstruction of all existing pianos. No end to the great labor increase engendered by these people. As for people, such as those in Africa who have no objection to being called black? I guess we will have to destroy them.


    These people ARE idiots.

    Dr. Frank

    Awomen using the "A" means without women. I do believe that Rep. Cleaver just dissed all women in the Congress and America. He's a misogynist!! Why isn't the "Pink " parade calling him out??


    Boy oh boy can we have fun with the word " Democrat " !!! let's see ..... let's try to " break " it down ... sorry for the partial pun here.

    Since I don't have my wordsmith book, cut me a " break " !!

    Demo crat .... " Demo " ... to destroy, demolition, demonsterous, demonstrable demonstration ... you getting my drift ??

    I'm still working on the " crat " part .... can anyone help me here ... please.

    All of this " P.C. " CRAP really pisses me off !! People are making too much out of words we've used for centuries. If one is sooooo badly offended by little words, how bout we try to recall a little diddy from childhood .. as in " sticks and stone can break my bones, but words can never hurt me " !!! oh sh.it .. we've gotta be very careful of the " hood " as in neighborhood, or " hood " as in " Robin the Hood ", as in a criminal ??

    GET OVER IT ... we're wasting our lives making issues over words that can never hurt me, unless we're behaving like overly spoiled, overly protected, thumb sucking basement dwelling snowflakes .... people GET A LIFE and get on With your life !!!


    To DockingBay94 ....

    WAY TO GO ... I'm ROTFLMFAO so hard, tears are flowing like rivers and my belly hurts !!!!


    there can be no more transgender operations because it is not right to ask to become a man or a woman.


    Was skag too 'outre'?
    The DEMs are the Coloured Party.
    I wonder if Black Bastard could pass muster?
    In 1963 boot camp some Black provoked me and I called him a Black Bastard.
    I got in a lot of trouble as my platoon sergeants were Puerto Rican and Black.
    I could feel the hate from sergeant Perez, but the Black sergeant was non-committal .

    Dave Nichols

    Cancel "racism", "White supremacy", etc. Whites think Blacks act strange and don't care if they feel inferior or not.

    Sheila Dallas

    I wish I could be as elegant as all the people that have commented on this brilliant essay. In these trying times humor is a virtue
    Thank all of you especially Mr. Ziedman

    DD More

    Another term on the list, “brown bag”. The real reason it is on the list is because of the missing word "TEST" is not included. Brings back colorism-discrimination based on skin color, conducted by Blacks on themselves. Sauce.

    2006 book, The Paper Bag Principle: Class, Colorism and Rumor and the Case of Black Washington, D.C., Audrey Elisa Kerr, a professor of African-American literature, documents reports that the brown paper bag test was used by African-American fraternities, sororities, churches and social clubs throughout the 20th century. Exclusion is often ugly, but there seems to be something especially pernicious about African American churches not allowing dark-skinned African Americans as members-this is reminiscent of white churches forbidding African Americans, of all hues, from membership.


    Democrat women may not be women at all. Just because they look like women outwardly means nothing. You need to give a young Democrat something a bath to know for sure. And look close! Biden will give everyone Medicare and force it to pay for sex change operations by the millions. Get ready.


    Don't argue about the meaning of words. Look them up in a reliable dictionary. Buy one or more older dictionaries. Insist on using the English language correctly. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't rely ever on any online dictionary, since they are part of the 1984-style efforts of big tech.


    Part of the DEMs Gaslighting Strategy is to cause confusion and disbelief.
    If one reads Breitbart, often they have quotes from Left Hollywood or whomever saying the most outrageous things,
    They are thrown into the public pot to cause distractions, to muddy the waters and make people wonder what is going on.
    IMO. the DEMs are getting help from the CIA psychological warfare experts.
    The cacophony wild statements and ideas, baseless accusations is what a physics professor called handwaving when one wants to distract from the truth.
    Pelosi is aiding the effort.
    Look at how her new rules have taken so much energy out of everything and deposited it into the absurd.
    Didn't Trump do that sort of thing in a more rational way?
    60 years ago, Nancy would have been laughed off of the stage and sent packing to Calif.---a nice place back then.


    No, that was June Cleaver, she said "gee Ward, you were awfully hard on The Beaver last night."


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