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Bloomberg Is Older Than Biden…And An Elitist, White, Wealthy Male…Dems So Woke

Michael Bloomberg. Screencap: YouTube

OK, War Baby

I haven’t seen anyone make note of Michael Bloomberg’s age just yet. Turns out he’s part of the generation that preceded the Baby Boomers. Quick, can you name it?

Answer: the Silent Generation, the generation that followed the G.I., or “greatest” generation and preceded the Boomers. Given that he was born just after the start of our declaration of war in WWII, he’s also a War Baby. Of the Democratic candidate field, Bloomberg’s cohort consists of Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. And they are tightly bunched.

Before I have a little fun with this group of guys, I feel compelled to acknowledge that a great many Americans enjoy a physically vigorous and intellectually stimulating life well beyond the age of these candidates. But I put it to you: who among your friends, family, and acquaintances would you want to turn 80 while in any job, let alone the office of POTUS, the most demanding, influential job on the planet?

With that, here are the most…seasoned characters in the running:

Sleepy Joe

Biden is actually the youngest of the trio. It feels odd to write that. Born November 20, 1942, he’s a regular spring chicken, still frisky enough to smell some girl’s braids, grope a few wives, wield influence for familial gain, and be home in time to play the phonograph before bed.

11/20/1942
This Day In History:

  • The 26th Soviet Armored Corps recaptures Perelazovski, former USSR
  • British 8th Army recaptures Benghazi, Libya

Little Michael

Bloomberg is the patty in this oldburger. Born on Valentine’s Day, 1942, one of the most influential men on Wall Street, worth an estimated $52 billion, he’s effete, a New York snob. After leaving mayoral office, Bloomberg continued to nanny the nation and even the world where he saw fit. A few things about which he’d like to tsk-tsk you: alcohol, calorie counts, carbon footprint, cell phones, cigarettes, contraceptives, composting, fingerprinting, gasoline, guns (2A), noise, politics, privacy, soda, sodium, Styrofoam, taxis, tanning, traffic congestion, and trans fats.

Oh, and he’s a China apologist who claims that Xi Jinping is “not a dictator.” Tell that to the wives of the Uighurs, to whose homes Xi has sent Chinese men. Their mission: to “sleep with” the Muslim women while their husbands are held in prison camps.

On today’s episode of War Room: Impeachment, Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani discussed Bloomberg’s nascent candidacy. America’s Mayor joked of his shape-shifting following act, “He could never figure out what party to run in.” He’s old. He’s pro-China. He’s a corporate uber-insider. He has the charisma of a stale crouton. In other words, Bloomberg is the anti-Bannon.

2/14/1942
This Day in History:

  • Japanese parachutists land near oil center Palembang, Sumatra
  • Rotterdam’s Maas tunnel opens
  • The Polish resistance movement, the Home Army, is formed and will eventually become the largest resistance movement in occupied Europe
  • World War II: Battle of Pasir Panjang contributes to the fall of Singapore

Crazy Bernie

Sanders is of course the eldest contender, but only by a few months. Sanders does not qualify as a War Baby as his birth predated the attack on Pearl Harbor. Growing up during the war didn’t manage to stir the patriot in Sanders’ soul, however. A picture of famous communist supporter Eugene Debs still hangs in his office, he honeymooned with his second wife in Russia, visited and supported the efforts of Russia, Cuba, and Nicaragua during the Cold War. For more trivia, read this brief article in the New York Post.

Postscript: heart attack. Just saying it since everyone developed amnesia after AOC flashed her pearlies and endorsed heart-Bern. Are her teeth like the Neuralyzer in Men In Black? Wake up, folks. This man bursts blood vessels ordering a bagel.

9/8/1941
This Day In History:

  • Blockade of Leningrad (St Petersburg) by Germany begins
  • Entire Jewish community of Meretsch, Lithuania, is exterminated

Pretty eerie stuff.

Age Is Just A Number

We see physical rigors of the presidential office written on the faces of those who held it. Let us not flirt with another late-second-term Reagan scenario in one of these candidate’s first cracks at the job, especially when none of these guys would have lasted one round with the Gipper.

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1 comment

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Gypo O'Leary November 9, 2019 at 1:33 am

Bloomberg isn’t white, he is jewish.

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